Hidden
by Scarlet93
Summary: Gaara seems to be living a normal life with his siblings, but they don't know whats happened to him in his past, and what their father kept from them. How will they react? Or will Shukaku get to them first. Realistic fic. Rating changed.
1. Chapter 1

Hidden.

**Authors note: **

Hello there everyone. This is my first fanfiction ever, and I feel like I've worked a great deal on the first chapter. Please let me know what I can do to improve, and any other things you'd like to see in the later chapters. :D

So, without further ta do. Here we go.

–

"_I didn't think this would ever have happened.. _" I thought to myself quietly as I sat in front of the little crowd that had been gathered, a large casket in front of me. "_I didn't expect father to leave the three of us alone.. _". I wasn't very close to him.. but hey, he was my father after all, but even then, I didn't know the right emotions to show.

Sadness.. It was an emotion that I thought people around me overused, true sadness is very hard to come by, as I have noticed.

Anger.. At why father would leave Temeri, Kankuro and myself alone, even after mother died.

Pain.. The emotion that I didn't feel in the least. He was never with me or around me, he never acknowledged me for anything.

All I could really feel was emptiness. I never loved my father.. but he gave us a beautiful house to live in, and made our lives as easy to live as possible. But I suppose since I lacked the love of parents in general, my feelings towards him were.. always foul. But sometimes, I don't blame him. Our mother died in childbirth, giving birth to me. I don't blame my father for having any harsh feelings towards me, since I did, in a way, kill his wife. I still, to this day solely blame myself for the loss of my mother, even though my siblings strongly like to disagree with me.

Snapping back to reality, I sat on a chair, in front of the casket of our now deceased father, and sitting on both sides of me were my elder sister and brother, Mayurama Temari and Kankurou. Temari was the eldest, and she was stern and could control a lot of situations just like our father. Kankurou was the middle child, he was slightly neglected but not as bad as me. He had a strange obsession with puppets.. his room was almost completely filled with them. But I wasn't too worried. He had been more normal then I had been anyway..

I snapped back again, Why the fuck couldn't I focus on what was going on right in front of me. I never liked to pay attention to major things but pfft, this was my fathers funeral and I had to be the depressed, sad and tear filled son. Argh, not my style. After his close friends had finished paying their last respects, the 3 of us had been called up to say a few words on him, because we were the only direct relatives there. But when they asked us to do that, I felt my tongue turn to sand. (**Authors note: Pun intended :P**). I had no words to say about the man, everything that I would say would all be negative. But somehow, I had to manage to do some buttering up. Say some good things about him.

"_Good things about him.. _", I thought to myself, and at that moment my mind was a mess, as if small neutrons had been running around opening drawer after drawer to find something good about my father in my brain.

"_Well, there was the house? And all the services and things.. _". I had been blank.. I couldn't think of what to say, and before I knew it, Kankurou was done saying what he had to say about our father to the masses. It had been my turn. Generally I wasn't very good at speaking to the public, I was what some people liked to call "Anti-Social". So when I stood behind the podium, my body froze. I somehow, in some way mustered the strength to say a few (barely manageable) good things about my father.

"My father.. was a great man". I gulped.

"He had managed to live through things, that other people, probably could not. He managed to live life everyday as if it were new, forgetting anything that might have happened the day before.. He.. had always been nice to the three of us. He gave us a beautiful house to live in, and made life very comfortable for us all. He was a loved father, and was also a loved husband, or so I think".

I shot a quick glance to Temari who was giving me a soothingly sisterly smile, I continued.

"He -he lived through my mothers death, and still gave us the love that two parents were meant to give, and it is a saddening thought that a man of his stature, has left us. I shall pray for him, and thank you all for coming out."

With that, I swiftly moved off the podium and quickly seated myself between my siblings. The funeral was at its end, and it had been time to lower the casket 6 feet under. It slowly moved downwards into the soil, and all three of us stood before it. I took a quick look from left to right, to scan my surroundings once more. Everyone was wearing black, naturally, since it was a grim day. Temari wore a black dress going down to her knees and wore black gloves and a elegant looking black hat, most of her hair hidden under it. Kankurou was wearing a black suit with a black tie, very fetching since he always used to be in ragged clothing at home. I looked down and also noticed that I was wearing a suit and I normally don't like wearing the damn things. It was too formal.

When the casket had been buried, and the dirt had been dumped upon it, people had begun to leave. People who were left came up to Temari and Kankouou and paid their respects. I, however, walked off towards where my car had been parked. I didn't want to, neither did I have to mingle with the people who were there. There is an advantage to being the youngest, people tend to think your the most hurt and leave you alone. I walked slowly and looked up slightly, the clouds were coming, it seemed it would rain in a few minutes or so and in the city of Konoha that wasn't something unusual. So I hastened my pace and found myself sitting in the drivers seat of my black Land Rover. I reached for the glove compartment and stuck my hand in trying to find the packet of cigarettes I had bought on my way here. I unwrapped the loose packing and flicked one out. I put the packet back in the compartment and took a lighter out of my briefs and lit the cigarette and took one deep drag.. and let it out slowly. I wouldn't leave just yet, I would leave just when Kankurou and Temari were done with the people, I thought it'd be best if we all left together. Plus, they wouldn't want their younger brother at the tender age of 20 to run off alone without telling them.

I sat there for a while, around 15 minutes before Temari and Kankurou were done tending to the attendees. They made their way to the car and saw me already sitting in the drivers seat. Kankurou called shotgun and Temari sat in the back seat. When they sat in the car, the first thing Temari had to do was complain.. nothing new there.

"Gaara! How many times did Dad used to tell you not to smoke in the damn car!" She half yelled, what was wrong with her all of a sudden? My smoking never did bother her before that much..

"Well.. Dad isn't here to tell him to stop anymore Temari." Kankorou said almost care freely.

We both shot our gazes towards him in amazement. We rarely heard Kankurou say anything the whole day, and now he decided to break up an almost harmless fight?.. something was different today.. Oh right.. My father was just barried.

"Look Temari, if it makes you feel any better I'll put it out alright? Just don't get angry today out of all days." I rasped. I didn't want thing to get any worse then they already were. So I put out the cigarette in the ashtray of the car. I looked around for a quick second, there was complete silence in the car.. no one shrugged, no one even moved. I shifted my position to look at the back seat where Temari looked like she was on the brick of tears, she had controlled herself through out the whole funeral only so her hard exterior remained. I looked at Kankurou who looked much more lost then he usually is. I blinked.. I wasn't very good at these situations to begin with, and I honestly didn't feel as bad as both of them must have felt. I don't know why really, I wasn't very good with emotion.

All of a sudden, out of no where, Temari started to sob out loud. I looked back suddenly.. I was so clueless to what to do! And Kankurou just stared outside the window. She was on the brick of walling now and I just thought I'd do what I've seen other people do. I got out from the drivers seat and open the door to the back seat, I pushed myself in and looked at my elder sister.

How broken she looked, not normal for me to see, since I've almost always seen her composed. I slowly reached my hands around her and pulled her into a deep embrace. I hugged her tightly and she hugged back, crying into my suit jacket. She seemed so broken. I wanted to sort all those pieces back and glue them together to form the same sister I knew and grew up with. I loved her so much.. it was hard to see someone you love to break down like this. I tried to calm her down as much as I could, but she seemed to just.. not care. She cried and cried until she felt the need to calm down. This went on for around ten long minutes.

Eventually, Temari calmed down, gave me a pat on my back and pulled away from the hug looking at me, she gave me a smile that said "Thank you little brother". I gave her a quick little smile and nudged at her that we should leave this place, she nodded and gave me a quick kiss on my forehead, pausing for a second and then sat normally. I got out of the back seat and climbed back into the drivers seat, Kankurou seemed to somehow be touched by the event that just took place, but again, he seemed so uninterested, if you didn't know him even you'd think he just didn't give a rats ass. But we knew him, we knew what he felt even with that blank expression.

What felt weird was, my siblings, in no way or form, have ever been able to read me, as a human being. They say I'm just too confusing for them to figure out, and I simply accept that. I am different, I couldn't care less about the funeral then both of my siblings did, but then I had to think about something at home.. "_Why don't I fucking care at all? Its annoying thinking I didn't love the man.." _With that quick thought, I turned the keys to the ignition and the engine of the Land Rover rose to life. I looked around the area, and quickly pulled out of our spot and drove slowly back home.

–

It took us 15 minutes to get home, mostly because the traffic on this rainy Konoha day, but thats all I could possibly blame it on. Its not like my driving is that horrible. I was also amazed at myself, how could I be thinking about such trivial things on the day my **FATHER **was **BUIRED!** How cold and distorted was I? This might just end up being a problem. I couldn't focus on what was going on in front of me. But I brushed that issue aside labeling it "_**Something I'll have to think about another day**_".

I sat on the kitchen table, collecting my thoughts of the day. I thought from how things would change, to how things would end up staying the same. Like I've mentioned before, my father and I didn't interact much at all. We kept to ourselves, and the ones who'll really be effected by his absence would be Temari and then Kankurou. But of course we'd be there for our elder sister if the need arose.

I looked behind me where Kankurou was flicking through TV channels and as usual, he seemed uninterested in his own actions. Looking around slowly I was a little happy that we managed to keep the house. It was in our fathers will that it would go to Temari.. I expected as much, she was his golden child. I didn't feel jealous in any way however.

Temari was also in the kitchen area, preparing dinner for the three of us. She wasn't an amazing cook, but she did make some decent meals compared to when Kankurou and I ever cooked. For a 23 year old, Kankurou really seemed to be a lazy guy.. He didn't have a job, and went to the same University I did. Temari on the other hand, was the steadfast 28 year old one who could manage a job, Unlike Kankurou and me (part time jobs didn't apply). I did have my share of part time jobs, though I never took any of them seriously. Temari used to be pissed if I got fired from any of the places I worked, but then I used to think to myself why should I be working anyway? Father mostly gave us whatever we wanted, and we weren't exactly low when it came to money..

But there was a difference now.. Father _**wasn't**_ around anymore, and we all, in a way, had to fend for ourselves. Temari obviously took his job in the firm he used to own, when he was alive. Temari was his assistant, and a very loyal one at that. She worked with father for over 5 years, ever since she graduated from Konoha University. I was still in my first year there, and Kankurou was about to graduate. It was a shame fathers passing had to happen so close to Kankurou's graduation. I felt a little pit form in my stomach..

Something was about to happen..

I had a feeling I knew what this was, so I quickly excused myself from the table and swiftly climbed the stairs that lead upstairs and quickly walked into my room and closed the door, locking it.

My breathing doubled.. what the fuck was going on? I had been fine the whole day, and now this manages to pop up at the time I least expected it to!

I didn't think was worth mentioning before but.. As a child, I had a problem, a Psychological problem when I was 7 years old. It formed then, but did not manifest. Only father knew about this problem, not even my own siblings knew and now I worried about their safety. The problem that I had since I was a mere child was

"_Schizophrenia." _

Yes, I was a Schizophrenic, but the meds that I was given had kept it mostly under control.. mostly.

I ran to the bathroom, and looked myself in the mirror, my breathing was heavy, and sweat began to disperse from my forehead.

"_**You know Gaara, you did well to keep me away for this long you know, but you know I'll always come back to fuck you up my little friend."**_

"Shut the fuck up!" I half yelled, but there was nothing before me but my own reflection. I did manage to keep this under control for so long, but fathers death probably trigged his voice to come back, that bastard!

"_Shukaku.. the demon"_ I thought.

When I was born, my father had be "blessed" by the local priest. He had "cleansed" me not knowing how much he actually fucked me over. The priest had cursed me instead, and infused a demon called "Shukaku" to haunt me for the rest of my life.. to fuck me up. And he has been doing so, for the last few years. I had him controlled lately though..

But now Shukaku's voice is back doesn't mean anything good will come out of this scenario. He going to slowly screw me up. When Shukaku was known to my father, because I was having a raging fit around him, he had sent me to a mental institution, lying to Temari and Kankurou that I was at some prestigious summer school in the Sand city. They were completely unaware of what happened to me and what I went through, but the things I'd seen and done in that institution, I wasn't fit to call myself a "sane" person.

–

_6 years ago._

"_Hello everybody, this is our 5th group therapy session with you lot and we'd like to introduce our youngest and newest member". The head Nurse spoke with authority and at the same time, sounded calm. "Go ahead honey, tell them your name and your problem, don't worry, everyone here will accept you for what you are, and their all here just like you, to become better." Her words sickened me.. How could she compare me to these.. these.. people. _

"_M-my name is... Mayurama Gaara, I-I'm 14 years old.. and.. a-and I ha-have"_

"_OH OUT WITH IT, WHAT THE FUCKS WRONG WITH YOU?" A boy spoke out of turn, his hair was a shade of a very light purple, almost not noticeable and silver. He looked agitated and looked around 4 years older then I was. _

"_U-urm.. I h-have.. Schizophrenia." I gulped. _

"_Well fucking time you finished you little shit" Whoever this was was slowly getting on my nerves, and I'm not shy forever._

"_Hidan, control yourself, or we'll have to throw you into the solitary cells again!" The nurse said calmly yet with authority. _

_He just groaned and sat back into his chair. He gave me a look that screamed "DANGER", but honestly at that point, nothing really was going to scare me, specially after everything Shukaku told me. _

_The group therapy session continued for about an hour and a half, and right at the end, after everyone had shared their experiences, the nurse looked at me and said "Gaara, would you like to share anything with the teen group?" I looked at her suddenly.. she wanted me to share something about my problem? Well then, I thought they'd be no harm in sharing, specially with people who feel the same way I do._

"_The demon in my head, Shukaku tells me head like to rip your insides and turn you inside out nurse, and he tells me that he wants to torture every single one of these poor bastards." _

_The nurse and patients looked slightly disturbed._

"_Oh yeah, also" I lifted my red hair away from the right side of my forehead to show a deep red tatoo, the word carved in was "Love". _

"_Shukaku made me carve this into my forehead with a razor blade, he said that with this, he said its a reminder that I'll always have to bear with him, "LOVE" him". I grinned a little manically, the nurse seemed really disturbed now and wrote down some quick notes in the clipboard she had been holding. _

_I heard her whisper softly "Poor boy..". _

_I retaliated to say anything else, Shukaku had made me say what he wanted me to say and now I wasn't going to let them think I'm anymore crazy. _

"_**Come on you little shit! Let them know that they'll have empty eye sockets by the end of the week". **_

"_Shut the fuck up!" I screamed into the air, and that got everyone's attention focused on me. _

"_I..I-I'm sorry, I wasn't aware of the thing I said or did.. its just.. he's so fucking loud.." I said softly. _

"_I'm sure we can help you through this Gaara, but you just need to cooperate with us and take the medicines we give you, can you do that?" The nurse smiled lovingly to me and I felt like it was genuine, I nodded. _

"_Excuse me nurse b-but.. what your name?" I said a little shyly. _

"_My name Gaara? Oh well my name is Haruna Sakura, but you'll have to call me nurse Sakura." She smiled._

"_Alright nurse Sakura" and I smiled back, but it wasn't my smile, it was the smile Shukaku forced upon my face, a smile filled with pure malice and insanity._

–

My eyes snapped open, I was in the bathroom, more so.. the bathroom floor. It seemed I had passed out, but I don't remember anything after I came into my room and ran into the bathroom.. what was I doing.. I was dizzy and I couldn't make out much but when I grabbed the sink as leverage to stand up, I looked into the mirror and was staring at myself in pure shock, firstly, the mirror was shattered, only some pieces remained intact. I looked down at my fist, I had punched it.. my fist was bleeding.. I don't remember doing any of that.

"What the fu-" I was tracked off when I walked into my room and looked into the proper mirror and almost let out a shout of terror.

"No way! No fucking way! It wasn't there! It went away! Why the fuck is it back?" The only reason I was in shock was because..

"Love" was carved across my fore head, deeper and much more visible then when I was a child. I looked at the bathroom floor, and saw that it was a bloody mess. I saw now clearly, the only reason the glass was broken was because I used it.. to carve this back.

The blood trickled down my fore head.. I didn't know how I'd explain this to Temari and Kankurou.. They didn't know about what happened to me, they don't have the slightest idea! Temari already saw the scar on my fore head from back then, but now its LARGER and more PROMENENT than before! I was fucked because I knew my siblings would be more scared of me.. then helping me.

"_**Oh poor Gaara, all bloody, don't you remember how much you ENJOYED the first time you did this? It was so much fun seeing that smile on your face, you just wanted to be loved, thats all, and thats all you want now.. LOVE!"**_

"Get the fuck out of my head you maniacal bastard! I don't need more love then I already have! I HAVE MORE LOVE THAN YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I shouted, and then suddenly I could hear footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Oh shit, Oh shit, Oh shit, Oh shit".

If I don't manage to make something up, I was royally fucked..

=-End-=

**Authors Notes:**

**Well guys, let me know what you think, I'll still continue it either way, because I haven't written one before and I feel like this is going to be a somewhat long and interesting fanfic, so stay tuned! **

**Reviews are always welcome. :) And I'm open to criticism. **

**It is my first fanfic however, so go easy on me. I feel like I can do much better if I haven't too great. **

**~Farii. **


	2. Chapter 2: Progression

**Hidden**

**Chapter 2**

**Hi there everyone, I'm happy to say that I'll be continuing this story, but with no proper schedule. Since my exams are just merely 3 days away, I had, and have other things to focus on, but don't worry, I'll still update. I am actually loving this fic, and I hope all of you are as well. **

**I'd like to thank **** Witchdoctr Mashy-Gaara4life and for the review, I will continue with the story, and I'm glad I peeked your curiosity. :D And yes Mashy-Gaara4and, I am also an artist and have a dA account, you've given me an idea about that certain scene and I'll probably draw it soon. :D Enjoy this chapter.**

**Oh before I start! This chapter has.. a very violent and rather disturbing scene at the end, I won't spoil it but I think it'll be one of the reasons why I'll be turning this story into a rated M. People who can't handle blood, or anything related to that, should just try not reading it and I'll give a short, less violent description of what happened in the next chapter. **

**Anyhow.**

**Here you go.**

**Chapter 2!**

"Shit!" I cursed out loud, someone was coming, and I didn't know who it was! Not that I cared who it was I didn't know how to explain what the fuck was going on!

Firstly, I'm covered in blood, and I have "Love" carved into my bloody forehead! The mirror in the bathroom was shattered and most of the pieces were covered in blood as well! How was I remotely going to explain this to ANY of my siblings without them thinking something was wrong with ME!

I slowly calmed myself down, there has to be a way out of this, there just has to be, I mean, I know if its Temari, she'll just knock and ask if I'm okay and I'll just call out making her feel at ease, and Kankurou barely even comes to my room for anything, so I doubt it would be him, so Temari it is. So I quickly ran back to the bathroom and piled up the glass into a rough pile in the corner behind the door corner, I quickly soaked my towel with water and started to slowly clean my forehead, hissing a little. When I completed that task I soaked the whole towel and started to scrub the bathroom floor. Since it was covered in white tiles, the blood had left a slight discoloration to that portion of the floor. But it'd have to do for now.

I left the bathroom once again, slowly closing the door on my way out so no one would pay it heed. I took another look at the mirror and noticed that the wound is still there, bleeding just a little, but none the less it was there. And it was clear.. I was fucked if someone saw it, but for now I had to make do. I quickly brushed my hair down with my hands so that my short bangs would fall over it. It worked, but it won't work forever. But for now, I was safe, no one would think I'm a complete maniac.

"_**Who're you kidding? Maniac? I hope they find everything out and throw you back into that place you love ohhh so much, eh, Gaara-chan?"**_

Shukaku said in a somewhat sarcastic tone.

"Oh fuck off, I will never accept the fact that your back, and I have a life now, a life I cherish, and no fucking way your going to ruin it for me now." I said with the little bit of authority that I had.

"_**Who are you kidding? Your meds don't seem to work anymore kiddo, and your punishment for suppressing me for this long is going to ruin everything you love, EVERYTHING Gaara, I will turn that new life of yours upside down you little brat!" **_

"JUST SHUT UP!" I yelled out loud again looking left and right trying to pinpoint where the voice came from, not realizing that, I was real **Loud** this time around and probably got whoever came upstairs attention. I hated Shukaku, he made my life miserable.. He controlled me, he made me do things that my father had to deal with and he did.. but now the old man was dead and gone and I had to deal with this twisted fuck myself..

"How to deal with something that's part of you?" I pondered for a quick moment until someone knocked at my door.

"Gaara? Are you okay? You skipped dinner and I heard some loud noises and did you just yell? Is everything alright in there?"

Shit, Temari, and out of all the days she acts like a caring sister, why did TODAY have to be one of those days.. Oh wait.. Father died.

"Yeah Tem, I'm alright, just stubbed my toe against the bedpost, its nothing, I'm just studying right now, have college tomorrow." I said a little hesitantly. I think shes the only person in the world who would realize I'm lying, cause generally I'm a very good liar, but not with her..

"Gaara are you sure? Your voice sounds a little shaky, open the door so at least I can SEE that your alright?" She said with a little concern thrown into her words, she actually wanted to see if I'm okay, what did she think? I'd try killing myself if Father out of all people died? I don't think so..

So I looked around the room once more to see if things were okay enough to let her in. I took one last glance at the mirror and slowly shuffled my way to the door, and unlocked it.

"You rarely lock your door, you know.." She said, with her voice almost full of concern now, and she was slowly reaching for my forehead to check my temperature. I almost freaked out, but then quickly thought of a way to fix the situation.

"Ahh Onee-chaann" I grabbed her hands and slowly pulled them down, "Trust me, I'm alright, just a little sad that Dad's not going to be around, thats it, don't worry about me too much." and I slowly pulled her into a hug, just to reassure her. She leaned in on my chest and I could tell she might start crying again.

"_Not to be rude but.. why now!" _I thought inwardly.

"Gaara.. I feel like Dad not being around is going to be really hard for me.. He helped me through everything, and when Mom was alive we were so inseparable.. I was his first child and first children always feel the most hurt when someone they love leaves them. For instance, when Mother died, I felt horrible.. But remember Gaara, I never EVER will blame you for what happened, you weren't even conscious!"

I sighed, I've heard this lecture before. She always liked the state how this whole charade of Mother dying wasn't my fault, and I've also learned the accept that, though there is a part of me that still believes somehow I caused it.

But honestly, I couldn't, or more like didn't want to have this conversation right now with her, if she lingers around for too long, she'll figure out something, and that won't be very good for me. Because after all those years of making myself look like a normal child, I can't let her suddenly be afraid of me, and get rid of me.

"_You're over thinking things again Gaara, just calm down, its nothing to freak out about." _I thought calmly. The thought was rather comforting. But in reality, I was shit scared, who was I fooling? If Shukaku manages to take a hold of me again like when I was a kid, he'll make me do things that I don't even want to imagine. He could make me hurt Temari and Kankurou, and no way in hell I want that to happen.

"Gaara.. your doing it again.. spacing out." Temari said, with the concern rising to a whole new level! I'M FINE WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO PROVE IT?

"Onee-chan, I'm fine, just a lot on my mind, need to collect my thoughts. So, you just go and get some sleep, you've had a real rough day, and I'll finish off this damn home work and call it a night as well okay? Just stop worrying." I stuck my tongue out at her playfully.

She giggled a little through sobs, I knew I could at least make her smile if nothing else.

"Alright then Otouto, I'll leave you alone, I have to clean up the dishes too, so I'll be up for a while if you want to talk about something, anything." She said with a soft smile on her face. I knew I shouldn't let her do the dishes, in her condition, and I knew Kankurou wouldn't care less, so I offered to clean the dishes for her, regretting it a bit, after pushing forward the offer.

"No its alright, I'll do it, you have work to do." She said softly.

"No, I insist, you need to get some rest, you need to face the company as the head now, remember? You need a good nights sleep, and also a piece of mind." I said rather blankly.

She nodded, and agreed, and then gave me a kiss on my forehead, not moving the hair. I froze, because I didn't see that coming at ALL! But since she didn't brush the hair aside, it was okay. Though I did hide a winch of pain. With that, she walked off to her room, saying good night and I waved to her and said the same with a small smile.

She went in her room, and closed the door, I ran back into my own and locked the door again.

"What a close call.." I whispered to myself, back against the door.

"_**Close call? I wished she stopped being such an oblivious bitch and saw right through you! How useless!" **_

"I bare shit you say about me, all the time, but don't you dare, even **DARE **say anything about my sister! If you were real I'd make sure you never stayed alive."

I said, looking into the mirror, trying not to pay too much attention to him, thinking that giving him less attention would make him go away, or at least stay away for now. But I knew that wouldn't work.

"_**Just hoping to keep me away won't work Gaara, I'll always be here! And the first one to die this time, is that pretty little sister of yours! I wonder how it'd be to ring that pretty little neck of hers." **_

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TALK ABOUT MY SISTER YOU MOTHERFUCKER! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HER! OR SO HELP ME I WILL GET RID OF YOU!" I yelled almost louder then the last time, but no one noticed.

"_**What can you possibly do to keep me away? Remember how we killed that nurse at that hospital your daddy sent you to? It was a MARVALOUS sight, and don't tell me you didn't enjoy it." **_He said in a rather evil tone.

"What does that have to do wit-" He cut me off.

"_**DO YOU REMEMBER?" **_Shukaku yelled.

"... I do". I whispered.

Unexpectedly, I caught myself grinning a very demented and twisted grin. I did remember it, and I know I hate all this killing and Shukaku, but that woman had it coming to her. But I realized that letting that happen, just showed that I was weak, and I let Shukaku take over my body. I couldn't let that happen to my sister and brother though.

- **FLASHBACK** -

_The head Nurse at that institution was alone in her office, she had a large window area, where the patients usually took their medication. But at this time of night, all the other patients had already gone to sleep, or more like the meds put them to sleep. But I didn't take my meds that night, what a naughty boy I was._

_I looked at the Nurse from the darkness of the social room, where people usually played some games, or something.. I didn't pay too much attention to them during the day. _

_Anyhow, the Nurse seemed to be writing the days report down into her clipboard. _

_She said she would help me, she said she was going to make things better, she said she'd make him go away, but he was still here, and he was still very much active and it was very hard to deal with him, but tonight.. tonight I want to do something in my own interest, of couse Shukaku brought it up, and of course I didn't want to agree with him, but all those days of just staying constantly awake and listening to him had driven me to the extent of madness (not that I admitted that I wasn't insane). I had developed dark circle, very dark circles under each of my eyes. Insomnia, they say its another form of decease, and if I had to blame anyone for that, it'd be Nurse Haruno. Only because she never really paid attention to anyone in this damn place, just getting paid and paid and just living off our suffering. _

"_**She deserves it, brat. Remember all the shit she put you through, and I swear if your not going to do it now, I will make your life hell forever."**_ Shukaku said.

_In an odd way, he was right again. Ever since I'd been at this place, I'd been put in the solitary cells 4 times, and I'd be forcefully sedated on many occasions, even if I was arguing over little things, I'd be put under. This place was not going to fix me, it would be my own will power to put Shukaku out. But moving on to the more pressing matter in my mind. Nurse Haruno. I was 16 now, and I was very capable of anything, as they like to say._

_I moved out of the shadows, but still was not trying to be discovered. I slowly walked my way towards the door to the office. I checked to see if it was unlocked._

"_Click.."_

_How careless Nurse. The door was unlocked, and I quickly walked in. She was sitting where the meds were distributed, and so I grabbed a sedative needle that was on her desk, and along with that, a scalpel that was also there. How convenient. All these goodies here on the night I pick to do this? God must have been looking down at me today. _

_I walked into clear view of her, and she STILL didn't notice me. What kind of nurse was this? Was she retarded? How could they even let her be a nurse for not noticing a deadly patient in front of her. She was in room which had NO security what so ever, I knew, I had been observant. Then.. only then did she notice me. She looked somewhat confident when she say me, like I wouldn't harm her, she thought I was a good patient, with a good heart. I did, but not when I was completely driven by Shukaku. Now, she was in a lot of trouble, and she wasn't even aware of it._

"_Hello Nurse Haruno." I said in my raspy voice, with a hint, of madness._

"_Gaara.. why are you awake..? and why aren't you asleep? Please just leave and nothing will happen, we'll forget this confrontation even took place."_

_She was such a fucking idiot, acting tough in front of ME? NOW? She was going to die._

"_Nurse Haruno, I didn't take my medication all day, I know what it does to me, and I know it knocks everyone out. I'm crazy, I'm mad, but I'm not an idiot. And also trying to re-assure me that you'd claim this confrontation never took place? Your just a lying whore."_

_I think that last part of my sentence set her off, she got off her chair and was about to walk right PAST me, but I wouldn't LET her._

_I grabbed her by the throat, and pushed her roughly back into the chair, which creaked a little on impact. She looked up at me, and could see I wasn't joking, and then, only then, did the fear set in for her. I grinned widely._

"_Gaara, don't do whatever your thinking, its Shukaku isn't it? Its him whose forcing you to do this isn't it? Don't give in into him, he's just a figment of your imagination."_

"_**Kill her." ** Shukaku said darkly._

"_Gladly." I said out loud. _

_Her eyes widened. She knew this wasn't a joke anymore. _

"_You know Nurse Haruno, I actually thought you were going to help me through this, but you didn't, you always put me through hell is what you did instead." I said, with a voice full of malice and poison. I moved closer to her and we were face to face. "If it was Shukaku who told me to do this, AND HE DID tell me to do this, but I never listened to him for 2 years, but now, now I'm doing this out of my own free will. This person who stands before you is Mayurama Gaara." I smiled like a psychopath. _

"_.. And this is your last day of making me suffer." I said to her. "I will make your feel everything you put me through." I grabbed her and put her arms behind her, tore of a bit of her coat and tied her hands together, and did the same with her mouth, I covered that lying mouth of hers._

_I pushed her in front of me and lead her into one of the open, empty, solitary cells. Amazing, how I could get around this facility with such ease. _

_I pushed her in, and she fell onto the padding of the cell. _

"_How do you like to be in this cell for hours on end? Days? Months? Probably can't imagine it can you, eh, Nurse Haruno?"_

_She looked genuinely scared. Wanting to scream from help, knowing she couldn't. I closed the cell door behind me, knowing it wouldn't lock. I stretched and got comfortable. I began to walk around the cell, in circles, observing the nurse, like a lion circling its pray. _

"_Oh Nurse, its such a shame that a pretty woman like you will just end up as a pretty stain instead." I said. _

_I knelled down next to her whispering into her ears, my mouth right next to her ear, my warm breath sending goosebumps down her skin. _

"_You are truly beautiful you know that? But, its just the exterior that's like that." I breathed onto her neck and she began to shiver. "If you weren't a Nurse, and I was sane, I think things would have worked out rather well, don't you?" She was in too much shock to even nod. _

_Ahhhh this was a moment to savor. I was overwhelmed by excitement. I took out the sedative and scalpel from my pockets. She was rather amazed to see both. I took the cap off the needle and violently shoved it into her forearm, she wanted to scream, but the cloth prevented it, instead it only came out as whimpers. I only emptied half of the sedative into her arm, that way, she'll still be conscious, but she won't be able to move. I put her down onto the padding of the cell and stood there pondering what to do with her. _

_And without emotion, I kissed her forehead and said "I'm sorry it had to come to this Sakura, but you were a major annoyance." and I removed her coat and pulled her top till her chest, revealing her stomach. I slid the scalpel down her stomach harshly, not giving an incision but rather delivering a slash. It wasn't very professional, but I didn't care. I looked up at her face, there were tears, she could see what was going on, and she could defiantly feel it. Good, I wanted it to be that way. I looked back down on the wound I delivered, and there was just simply blood everywhere, dripping down onto the padding, onto my hands, and cloths. It was simply.. satisfying. _

_I raised the blade with both hands and started the hack insanely, laughing. I knew after the first two hacks, she probably died, but it didn't stop me from continuously bringing the blade down,_

_Again,_

_Again,_

_and _

_Again._

_After the time when my rage had settled aside, I observed my work. There was bits and pieces of flesh everywhere, and almost everything was dismembered. The whole cell was a bloody mess. And the body, well lets say it was beyond mutilated, I couldn't even tell who it was anymore. I achieved what I wanted to do "Whats ugly from the inside, has to be ugly from the outside." I spat. _

_Though I'll just leave everything here, except the materials I used, but since I was clinically insane according to them, I would have to just stay there a little longer more, but I can simply blame Shukaku for everything, it was his fault after all. Life would go back to normal in,_

_This_

_Wonderful_

_Looney_

_Bin._

–_- _**END FLASHBACK **-

Remembering everything, I ran to the bathroom once more and threw up my guts. I didn't want to remember that.. No one, not eve father knew about that. I'm going to get rid of Shukaku, but does that mean everyones going to stay safe from.. me?

"I'm not going to let this madness happen." I said, then hurling again.

Things are going to change soon..

– **END** –

_**= Authors notes = **_

**Well to be honest, this chapter was just.. a spur of the moment thing. I wrote it, am happy with it, but I like the character twist I've given to Gaara, some of you might not feel the same way however, and I'm open to suggestions.**

**Gaara's past at the Institution will be revealed in flashbacks through out the story, and this story will probably be long anyhow. And if anyone who had a has a weak stomach and read this, I apologize, but the corse of the story will take some twisted turns, that why this story was or probably will be rated M now. Not sure really. You people tell me. :) **

**And sorry for the long Flashbacks, but there kind of necessary to the plot I have in mind. **

**Again, I'm open to any criticism, and reviews would be appreciated. :) **

**I will probably update the next chapter much faster then I did this one, because I began to write it during my exams, but I finished writing it today, that probably a 2 to 3 weeks gap. But now Schools over, and I have all the time to write now. So stay tuned. :)**

**~Fari.**


	3. Chapter 3: It begins

**Hidden **

**Chapter 3**

**Authors note:**

**Hello everyone, Scar here. I'd like to thank the people who've shown support towards this story, and I'm glad I have your attention. :) Though I knew this story wouldn't be widely popular, I still wanted to write it. And who evers read it, and liked it, I'm glad. :)**

**So this chapters going to be.. well, more of something I didn't imagine myself writing, but then again, I had to come up with something. XD Anyway enjoy this chapter.**

I barely got any sleep that night. The constant images of Shukaku poisoning my mind again was a thought that couldn't even be remotely pushed aside. I had nightmares, nightmares I never had for a very long time. I couldn't bare this torment again.

I couldn't sleep practically the whole night. After the little incident that was recalled, I had been shaking. Somewhere along the line I remembered the I had promised I'd wash the dishes for Temari. I went along with that task. Once I had finished that I had come back in my room and just wondered what would trigger this sudden reappearance of this damned creature.. or thing.. or whatever the fuck it was. The only plausible explanation I could conjure up was that because Father died.. He and I weren't close at all.. but I did feel.. safe around him if nothing else.

But now, that sense of security was gone, and now the main cause of all my childhood problems had resurfaced! But now its not like I can go tell Father whats going on.. hes not here anymore.. I have to figure out something on my own, without Temari and Kankurou finding out.

All those thoughts ran through my mind the whole night, and when I noticed that dawn was approaching, I cursed remembering that I had to go to College today, damn it..

If I came up with an excuse not to go, Temari will know something's wrong, and she'll nag and nag, and probably even skip her orientation as CEO of the company. So I couldn't take that risk. I decided to go. Whats the worse that could happen?

"_**The worse that can happen? Oh foolish child, I will make sure SOMETHING happens."**_

"Must you pester me in the morning? You didn't let me get an ounce of sleep, and now your threatening me already.. you have a full schedule of making my life hell."

I hated Shukaku so much.. And this whole time I was trying to convince myself that he's a figment of my imagination, which most Psychologist's would say.

I shook off the thought, it was already 6:30 am and I had to get dressed. I walked back into my bathroom which I hadn't gone back in ever since the mirror incident. The pile of broken glass was still in the corner and it also looked like the blood that they were smothered in had dried up. I paid no heed to it. I discarded my cloths and turned on the shower, and stepped in. The warm water hitting my skin.

I sighed, I just wish this was all a bad dream.. and I'd wake up any second and laugh at how screwed up this dream was. But no..

This was reality.

I was fooling myself into trying to think that what was going on wasn't and isn't real.

"_**Oh but it is."**_

God damn it..

I quickly took a shower and then stepped out, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around my waist. I forgot the mirror had broke for a split second and was staring into a distorted image of myself.. I had to eventually come up with an excuse for this too.

I opened up the medicine cabinet and took out some disinfectant and a small piece of cotton. I set it on the sink and opened the small bottle. The pungent smell filled my nostrils. I took the cotton and pored the liquid onto it. I closed the lid of the bottle and lifted the cotton to my forehead. I moved my hair aside and saw how prominent the scar had become! It was swollen and red, and it was written so clearly, even I was amazed..

"Love.." I said out loud.

I then dabbed the cotton on the wound and I let out a loud hiss. It burnt, not just a little, but quite a lot. I dabbed it a few more times and threw the cotton away in the dustbin next to the sink and exited the bathroom. I then walked over to my closet and pulled out some random cloths.

Once I did that I threw them on the bed and inspected them. It was a red shirt with my favorite band's logo on it (Dead by April if you were wondering) and a pair of dark blue denim jeans. I looked outside my window to see if the clothing was appropriate, and to my amazement, it looked quite cold outside. So I wore them and then opened my closet again to choose a jacket, I took out an old black simple hoodie and pulled it on, wore my shoes and grabbed my bag pack. I looked one last time in the mirror and fixed my hair so that the scare couldn't be seen, and then walked out of the room.

I walked down the stairs and was greeted by the smell of freshly made bacon. I walked into the kitchen and saw Temari done making breakfast and Kankurou lazily eating his meal. I sat next to him and started to gobble down the food like I hadn't eaten in weeks! But then I remembered that everything I had probably eaten was all thrown up by now..

"Looks like someone hungry." Temari said with a soft smile. "Do you want me to make some more?"

"No no Tem, its alright, I'm in a hurry away." I said while my mouth half full.

"Gaara! Didn't I tell you never to talk with your mouth full!." She said in a teasing sort of way, and I just pouted.

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do? You look rather tired, why, even your complexion is awfully pale Gaara!." She spoke with a worrying tone. I couldn't let her worry forever, and I needed to calm her down.. Again.

"Nii-chan, can you stop worrying about me? I'm fine, look, healthy as ever." I said while getting up and doing a simple jumping jack. This made Temari giggle. She came over and gave me a tight hug.

"Its only been a day since Dad died, I just feel worried.. not only for myself but for you and Kankurou too." She mumbled, pulled me into a deeper hug.

I held grabbed her arms and started at her straight in the eyes.

"Tem, you'll do great. And as for us, we'll be fine, you needn't worry about the both of us, Kankurou stays to himself, and well I do what I'm suppose to." I said to her in a soft tone and gave her a kind smile. She only needs to see this side of me, nothing else. I can't let her worry about me.. even worse, find out about me.

"Well Gaara, I think we should go, we'll be late if we doodle any further." said Kankurou.

"_Whoa, one of the more rare occasions of him speaking.. very strange."_ I thought to myself.

"Right, lets head out now." I said giving Temari a soft kiss on the cheek and hugged her one more time and we both wished her luck with her orientation. I grabbed the car keys on my way outside the door when suddenly..

"_**Oh, your going to drive? Do you really think that's a good idea boy? As your well aware..".**_

It didn't even need to say more, I already knew what he was getting at. If I drove, and lost control, not only would I get killed, but I'd have dragged Kankurou into it too. I can't forgive myself if something happens to him too.

I threw the keys over to Kankurou. He looked at me puzzled.

"I don't really feel like driving today, you don't mind do you?" I said in a low tone.

"No no, its alright." He said in a brotherly tone. This was so odd, I'd never seen him like this before.. so caring.. so brotherly. Another reason why I have to be even more careful now.

We sat in the car and put our seat belts on. Kankurou put the key to the ignition and the car roared to life. I took this time to reach into my front bag pack pocket and took out a packet of cigarettes. I took out the lighter that was in the box as well and lit it without thinking. Kankurou was looking at me with a frown on his face. I looked at him for a minute, cigarette hanging from my mouth...

"Alright alright, I'll open the god damn window, okay?" I said slightly annoyed.

He just turned back to the road without paying me too much heed. I looked outside the window at the damp and cold Konoha. How rare this occasion was. Usually this place had summer like weather all year round. So seeing it rain, was a real marvel. I took a deep drag of my cigarette and let my thoughts take over.

"_**You know, I'm not going to let this peaceful life of yours just play out. I will end it, and grind it to dust. Wait till you get to your precious school, foolish boy."**_

"Shut up." I mumbled under my breath but seemed to have caught Kankurou's attention. I turned to him.

"Its nothing, just talking to me myself." I knocked myself across the head. "Thats me, stupid. Being stupid." I gave him a very childish grin and he was holding back the urge to laugh, I could tell. He wasn't very good with hiding his emotions, unlike me.

In the next 10 minutes we had reached Konoha University. Yes what fine students this academy held. Crazies such as me, and then other people I wish were considered crazy, people like Haruno Sakura for instence. Or that other kid who has looks like a homicidal maniac Uchiha Sasuke. But honestly, they were no different then I was, whats even funnier was, that those two were good friends. I had managed to make a life after I came back from that institution. And I intended on keeping it, and not letting it get spoiled by this bastard who lives inside of me.

"_**Oh don't get me wrong Gaara, I won't do anything. I'll just drive you slowly and gradually insane and I won't have to do any of the dirty work. Only one word, and you'll do as I say. Not now of course, but in due time."**_

"Can you just shut the fuck up!" I said out loud while walking into the university, covering my head with the hoodie to keep my head dry.

I made it inside and noticed that the corridors were empty.. I looked down at my wrist watch it read..

"HOLY SHIT!" I yelled, I was 15 minutes late! Fuck now Principle Tsunade's really going to kick my sorry ass!

I ran down the corridors and tried to sneak into my classroom. I failed miserably.

"Glad you could join us Gaara-san." I froze when I heard the voice and slowly turned my head to face my teacher.

"Well what should your punishment be this time I wonder..."

**Well, there we go. Chapter 3! Done. It actually took me a while to write this and finish it, only cause I had a block and I wasn't in the city. But I had always intending on continuing this. Hope you all enjoy it and like always,**

**Review and share your thoughts on what'd you like to see and what you think so far! :D**

**~ Fari.**


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